My procrastination has becomes depression, please send help

Did that shitty click bait like title fools you? I always want to try making a click bait title and see where it goes, at least you're already know this blog is full of shit so you won't feel cheated.

So here I am, with another rant and no tutorials in sight. By now some of you must've thinking "This fucker lied about the tutorials! Ready the pitchfork and stakes! Burn him down!". Well, relax for a bit will ya, this blog is just another notes from me, which if you know my handwriting, you need a decryption method to read it, it's on par with a doctor scribble. "So you were saying, all of the tutorial you've done is in your note then?" Some, yes, um... yeah let's just say that, some is in it... FINE, only a bit since I've finished my final project.

What the actual fuck I've been doing these day

So, I still am procrastinating things I actually want to do, I might say it's due to my comfy environment, but it's just another justification. Everything that I do is the result of my choices, and honestly, if you start to blame other things, you might want to take a step back, take a deep breath, and look at the bigger picture. Let this be a lesson for you who are reading this shit, don't ever tell yourself "yeah, I can do it later, it's fine, I can pick up the pace easily", in reality thought? It's fucking not.

I might be a hypocrite saying that, but it's the truth. The moment you give yourself the okay sign to do something later, you will never do it. Either do it right now, or you won't do it. Just do it, even for a few minutes a day, it will help you build your will to do it. So, enough with the hypocrisy, what have I done besides procrastinating? Well for once, I am still looking for a job since this post is published. There are several company that considered employing me, but seems like I can only get to the second interview, which is usually after the psycho test or before, it's up to the company. I do think it might be something in my personality or maybe something in my blog? Maybe, "so why is this idiot keep writing shit in his blog then?" If you ask me why, it's because my writing is a way to know my personality. Just so you know, people can actually know what kind of person you are from your writing style, and more so from your handwriting. If you have watched or read many detective stories, you'll understand, so get on it will ya?

Alright enough about that, now about job hunting and the lack of stuff I do, it's because ever since I'm looking for a job, I'm confused. Why? Because most of my experience is spread out nicely like a butter on a bread. I have experience in programming, networking, marketing and even designing shits, you can see it for yourself, and this is totally not me trying to make you look at my cv :^). So after applying to several companies, I got called several times for marketing and IT position, and got me thinking, do I have to do work outside of my expertise? Do I want to do that? Can I actually compromise? And after lots of thinking while procrastinating, I arrive at the conclusion that I want to work in the IT field, mainly as a network engineer, or maybe something close to that. It might be hard and took a long time, hopefully not that long, I've been jobless for half a year, but yeah, even if I got a job outside of IT, I don't plan to move up with that job, it'll be just in between job till I got accepted in IT.

So based on that, I try to get an IT job, no matter what it is, and keep focusing on finding IT jobs. It might take a longer time than I planned, but I rather burn out my life trying than regretting not trying later. And hey, more free time to relax and learn stuff I want to learn, which I swear I'll do it this time, no more procrastinating, no sir, I'm officially graduated from my procrastination!... next week :p.

So... What's next

Firstly, I'll try to write some stuff from my notes to this blog, so there's actually some more tutorial in this blog, not just Cacti tutorial riddled with dry jokes... Well I'm gonna keep doing dry jokes, it's fun writing tutorial like that, and honestly felt easy to understand too, right? And I do apologize, again and again and again and again and again for the lack of tutorials and other shits in this blog, like I said, I'm diagnosed with acute procrastination, so I'll try to write some stuff in here. I can say there's some interesting stuff that I keep thinking but this procrastination keeps me from writing it down in my notes or blogs, but next week I'll try to write it in my blog or notes anyway, just so I have something to do.

Next, I'm actually thinking of developing a simple game for android. "Whoa dude, you said you prefer networking than anything!" Yes, yes, calm down geez, writing programs or scripts is a hobby of mine, which actually makes me relax. Back when I'm still working on my final project, when I'm bored, I do some programming puzzle from codecademy, and reading about desktop environment tweaking for linux OS. But, it's just a hobby, I'm not planning it to be my job, because once a hobby becomes your job, there's a chance you'll stop liking it, so there's that. And relax, my main interest is still networking, this game is just an exercise to deepen my knowledge about android application developing, which might help me writing and fine tuning a netcode of an app, so who knows. And since it's just a hobby, the development might move in a snail pace, but if you're interested, I'll write about the general idea of what the game is and maybe some apk for you to try it out.

Thirdly, I might write some stories in this blog! I think it's about time I let out my creativity out into the world, and a good way to exercise my writing skills too. I also considering making a tumblr account to share my drawing. Yeah I like to do a lot of things, so that's maybe the cause of my procrastination, lots of things I want to do but I can't keep up with it. But it's gonna change next week, time to heed my own advice and actually get some shits done. The tumblr is just a progress blog, hopefully shows my development from suck at drawing to somewhat can draw something good. But I may drop some drawing I did in this blog just to shill my tumblr account.

And lastly, regarding the tutorial thats I will write in this blog, there's one small change, I will give tutorial in how to program stuff, with programming language I know of course. Yes, this blog and my main interest is still in networking , but just to spice things up, I'll throw some about programming that I have learned. It might be hard to do but hey, I'm someone who likes being pressured, since in my opinion, it forces you to develop yourself faster, totally not a masochist who likes to be dominated by pretty girls at all.

So in the end, this just a rant and justification about the lacks of shits I do and blog posts, but as they say, do things on your own pace, because life is not a race, but a long marathon. I do hope whoever you are will keep reading this ineligible blogs and can learn a thing or two from this blog, not just from the tutorial but also from my own life experience, well, this post is pretty much a random rant but hey, maybe you can avoid some mistakes that I did.

And that is all that I can share with you, readers who got lost and think they actually reading something useful, hope you're still reading by the time I posts something about tutorial and fun stuff later, bye bye.

Oh and here's some nice tune for you.